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Brene Brown on Discovering the Power of Vulnerability

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en

American Scholar, Author, and Public Speaker

 Research Professor at the U. of Houston Graduate College of Social Work.

1. We begin with the problem of shame: a fear of disconnection, alienation, a fear of excruciating vulnerability, a sense that I am not good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, strong enough, etc. Conclusion: I am unworthy to be loved, valued, cherished.

2. People who feel a strong connection to others have a sense of their worthiness; they believe that they are worthy, that they belong.

3. How do we get there? It takes a. Courage to tell people who you really are with your whole heart, including family. This leads to b. Compassion for others who are also not perfect or totally in control. This also leads to c.  Feeling of Connection as a result of practiced authenticity. It does take wisdom and work to move in this direction, take this posture.

What’s the Take Home about Vulnerability?

1. It is absolutely necessary to embrace your vulnerability; it makes you both interesting, attractive and beautiful. Be the first to say “I love you.” or “I’m feeling sad.” or “I am uncertain about the future.” or “I struggle to raise my kids well.” or “It’s not always clear what is expected at work.” The risk of vulnerability makes you more human. It is a courageous pursuit.

2. Don’t numb vulnerability because this leads to negative side effects like addiction, debt, broken relationships and obesity. Vulnerability is a risk but it also leads to joy, gratitude and happiness.

3. Don’t pretend that you are certain about everything; be willing to struggle and own it. Make space for others to support you, feed you emotionally. False claims to certainty will lead you to blame others for your problems and sense of unworthiness. Blame is a way to discharge your pain in unhealthy ways–the way of the narcissist.

4. Allow yourself to be seen. Take off that set of protective armour once in awhile. Love with your whole heart. Practice gratitude and joy (Ann Voskamp).

5. Say to yourself, “I am enough.” Don’t try to be someone else. Live your life and celebrate your story. This will make you a kinder and gentler person, more at home with yourself and others. You don’t have to be a super hero. It is important to step up to your calling or your domain.

David Wesley sings You Make Beautiful Things  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BblhO2Wk_LY