A Relationship with Jesus

What do people mean when they talk about having a personal relationship with Jesus? Someone asked this recently.  This is truly a great question.

When I was dating my wife, I wanted to spend as much time as I possibly could with her. Why? Because I wanted to get to know her better personally. I wanted to know what she liked. I wanted to get to know her sense of humour, pet peeves and her passion, her vision for life, her sense of calling. We had fun exploring each other’s nuances and personality, hearing each other’s stories and laughing about the adventures in mountain climbing, etc. My curiosity was admittedly intense: I wanted to know everything. Was she the one? But, above all, I had to learn how to make choices that showed I loved her, if the relationship was going to be a serious one with any depth. That was creative and fun, but also involved some thought and sacrifice of my own interests and goals as a single guy. I mused: How could I possibly integrate this complex, intriguing person into my already busy life? To prove my interest in her joy of adventure and trekking, I did a six day hike with a group in the Grand Canyon. Our love pushed me out of my comfort zone. That was a tough hike with temperatures reaching 116 degrees Fahrenheit at the bottom.

This is what happens when you love someone – you want a close, intimate, and personal relationship with harmony and honesty between you. And you want to learn about and explore life together. You also push each other to risk new experiences. A good friendship is also very special, because you can share your burdens and joys, weaknesses and strengths without rejection or judgment. You can laugh and cry together, spend time in comradery, go through tough times together, help each other stay in the game. A conversation partner whom you trust is priceless. One might even suggest that this is essential to our wellbeing, allowing us to be more fully human.

In many aspects, the same goes with Jesus. If you are looking into a relationship with Jesus out of curiosity, this means you aspire to learn about and follow him and his teaching, to take him seriously in all that he represents and reveals about reality, what he reveals about you. The Bible claims that you are generously invited to have a close, intimate, and personal relationship with him. This is a truly amazing opportunity, to get to know God and to find personal freedom in a covenant relationship with Christ! What does it mean and how does it actually work?

As with any relationship, it starts with receptivity: you choose how close and open you want to be. It is a choice only you can make, but one that really makes a difference on how you view life. Your parents or grandparents can’t choose faith for you. Nor can the Church community or a friend, even though they can begin the introduction. Some have merely an intellectual connection to God. But, this is not a personal relationship, cultivated in faith and humility. They like the idea of an all-powerful Being, but still want to be quite autonomous in how they live. To intellectually know Jesus (to know about Jesus) or have a movement of the emotions (to admire or feel good about Jesus) is fine and good, but does not constitute the whole story–a robust relationship that helps one flourish. Once we start investigating his story, many of us have lots of questions. That’s normal, because there is a lot to process in his teaching and claims.

John 1: 1-18 shows how Jesus made himself accessible to us. The Word became flesh and journeyed with us, lived with us, shared our humanity. The Creator joined his creatures on planet earth, in an amazing self-humbling. But we must also choose Jesus in faith, receive the gift of his revelation, expose ourselves to his moral light, engage the kind of lifestyle he offers. Faith is a grateful response to such a gift. Being able to say “yes” to Jesus is only possible because God has chosen us first, has his eye on us so to speak, has good intentions towards us, invites us into his family (Ephesians 1). That often comes as a stunning realization for people: that God invites us into conversation and ultimately into friendship and communion.

When you investigate Jesus and his claims, and then you choose Jesus as your mentor, you start on a lifelong adventure of faith, one that opens up life in unique and creative ways. This relationship is lived out in prayer, worship of God with other Christians, Bible study, practicing the virtues which are rooted in love and humility, practicing justice, service to God and others. In some ways, it reshapes your whole world and set of values and goals–sets higher ideals for life lived for others. As you claim Jesus as your personal Lord and guide, accept his wisdom, you will learn so much new about the adventure of life, about joy. It will engage your history and experience, address your pain and struggles, help heal your brokenness. Giftedness (Romans 12) will be released in you to accomplish things you may have thought impossible. He will also help set you free from bad habits, addictions and loss of control, get perspective on your stress and anxiety, improve your relationships and lead you into new ones. Some have the experience of a radical paradigm shift — it changes everything for the better. Most of all, Jesus leads us to become people of character, to become more human, able to face the challenges of life with courage and hope, take up our responsibility for the common good. We are no longer stuck with fate or meaninglessness. We are no longer morally frozen, or addicted to our own desires, lusts and cravings. It is a relationship rooted in love, not only for this life but also the one to come.

The GCU community of graduate students suggests a couple good introductory books to explain life with Jesus: N.T. Wright’s Simply Christian and C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity. I co-authored one small book on tough questions with my friend Michael Green called Ten Myths about Christianity. It engages briefly some of the typical questions people have about belief in God, exposes  popular stereotypes about faith to the light of reason. It ultimately shows how Jesus fits into the big picture of a meaningful and exciting life. You may also have heard about the Alpha Course, which is an introductory round table discussion of faith in a safe environment, where all inquiring questions are respected. You can also search up the Nicene Creed to see what most Christians believe through the centuries in a nutshell. Repeating the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13) is also a helpful way to begin to get to know Jesus. It can take some time, and many walks along the ocean, to figure this out, but it will be time well spent. It could mean a life well-lived, a life of joy, a lifetime of moral growth and maturity.

Hope this helps,


See also https://ubcgcu.org/2015/01/29/jesus-as-an-affirmative/ Jesus as an affirmation of humanity.

And try https://ubcgcu.org/2012/08/23/faith-comes-from-social-conditioning/ Is faith in God a result of social conditioning? This is a regular question asked by seekers and skeptics alike.

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