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The Necessary and Perpetual Quest for Identity

Definition of Identity It involves a sense of self (Who am I?) and a sense of worth (validation). We need approval by persons that we admire or esteem; this is how we make it through life and flourish. The wrong people, of course, can lead us astray, drag us down, hurt our progress in life. Our late modern culture works very hard to shape our identity and set our gaols. This is highly consequential with lots of pressure (often hidden from view) to conform to its agenda and its hegemonic ideologies. 

Christians have some advantage. They do not have to conform totally to culture in general or to their generation (Boomers, Gen X, Y, Z), its values or attributes, or to the market commodification of identity. They can see it more objectively, critically, circumspectly because of espousing and indwelling a different worldview or social imaginary (Charles Taylor). Transcendence of culture is offered by a critical biblical perspective (Christopher Watkin, Biblical Critical Theory). They can enjoy culture, dialogue and debate with culture, without being entrapped by it. In addition, they are free from its idols of nationalism, personality cults, consumerism, identity politics. Believers are free to be accountable, virtuous, offering constructive alternative, redemptive ways of flourishing. Their faith offers creative distance as we find among immigrants in a new country. Faith can also help them to self-critique: to shed false aspects of identity, confronting the false self and ignoble motives.

A. The Late Modern Culture Quest  Within this ethos, our self is created/invented or chosen strictly by us (not society, church or parents). We are radically individualistic or autonomous, self-determined and self-grounded. We have mostly an internal identity; we must self-validate: “I am who I am.” We find the answers to our identity questions within ourselves, with a heavy emphasis on how we feel or aesthetics (Carl R. Trueman, The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self). It tends to produce solipsism (my values are unique to me). I must carve out my own path, become a closed off self-sufficiency. I am free to define myself and manage my identity. I must sacrifice much in order to be myself uniquely, and sometimes I feel like attacking others who disagree with my choice. We know too well that the politics of identity can be weaponized. Relationships give us a network, fulfil or amuse us, but perhaps we discard them if we get bored or irritated. Obligation to the other is tentative, often utilitarian. This ideological posture paradoxically reveals a cultural ‘conformity to non-conformity’. 

Problems with this Stance  It is virtually a dark mission, one impossible to accomplish in and of itself. It simply does not work in reality and requires various forms of abstraction, constriction and manipulation. As novelist David Foster Wallace starkly put the effects of such self-diminishment in a commencement address, “It will eat you alive.” Below are five key concerns about such expressive individualism.

1. It is incoherent, volatile and ultimately self-deceptive. My emotions take me in a wide variety of directions, so my feelings about myself are not a good judge of reality. It makes me unstable, undisciplined and radically alone. We simply cannot validate ourselves adequately, and the process or trying will inevitably lead to narcissism. All is constantly in flux with no solid ground or frame for identity—creating obsessions and addictions. Such idolatry tragically self-entails the resistance of self to the truth.
2. This approach makes me far too consumeristic (William Cavanaugh), too vulnerable to the fluctuations of the marketplace (style, trends, ideologies). My identity is monetized; it can be bought, sold, exchanged and valued by the brands that I consume, or the company for which I work. I construct myself out of a range of market options. In the world of social media, I compete for the currency of attention (one million views on YouTube or Tik Tok). This puts enormous pressure on me to excel, stand out or pushes me to extremes for the sake of originality. Continual reinvention of myself can be exhausting in this commodity-conscious world. Those who set the rules of the marketplace love this game, the power, especially the wealth that it garners.
3. It is creative but exhausting to perform as outstanding or special continuously. Existential anxiety goes through the roof as we see in half of today’s youth. We will not be able to handle constructive criticism, nor to receive proper encouragement and support. Enough is never enough: I cannot keep proving myself as exceptional day after day without a breakdown. It is too much pressure, and it sadly tends to lead me into the abuse of performance-enhancing drugs such as Ritalin. 
4. This brazen self-assertion kills relationships: romance, family and friendship alike. We become incredibly selfish, proud, divided—we cannot trust each other because of intense competition, depersonalization and instrumentalization. The quest for uniqueness can mean that it is much harder to achieve consensus and peace with others. Solipsism means that I make up my own values for my purposes, with a strong utilitarian bent toward you. It often leads to multiple partners over time, combined with the obsessive search for the one who will truly make me happy. The Pew Foundation shockingly found that 63% of males 18-30 are cynically giving up on romance, marriage and family entirely. This concern went viral on the internet.
5. In the end, it is literally impossible to save yourself, to fix yourself without support and accountability from others and God—see Alcoholics Anonymous. We are dialogical, social, spiritual creatures. Thus, to live in denial of this reality is dysfunctional and harmful—even self-destructive (It will eat you alive). You never find peace within yourself; self-management and self-validation is never enough to keep life or self-concept in balance. Sociologist Robert Bellah captures the problem succinctly: “It is a powerful cultural fiction that we not only can, but must, make up our deepest beliefs in isolation of our private selves.” Max Weber once quipped that we are oppressed by the gods of our own making.

B. Christian Incarnational, Communal or Gospel Identity Quest

1. The deepest kind of identity is love, to be loved by God. He loves us deeply to the end of the age. Identity for the believer begins in the love of God, in being loved by God, full immersion in this love. We are in the end ‘who we are loved into being’; we become who we are in the gaze of the divine. This is God’s logos, his order to the universe: Love precedes/trumps power and influence. Love is a powerful communicable attribute of God—it leads to our ability and motivation to naturally love others (agape). See the classic statement on this by Henry Scougal, The Life of God in the Soul of Man.
2. We are made in the Image of God, not our own image, or the image of culture (J. Richard Middleton, The Liberating Image). He gifts this to us, but we have to explore what it means. The Imago Dei is the ground of our true identity and destiny, the very centre of our calling. We are called to ‘mirror God to each other’ (I John 3:2, Judith Wolfe), not to isolate ourselves; we are to become living icons of charity and humility. 
3. Thus in this register, our identity is received from God, not achieved by us. It is a gift, within a relationship. We become, by his grace, new creatures in Christ; it is based on his work of redemption (I Corinthians 5:21). He is in the business of taking a deep interest in us, making all things new. It is a radical encounter with God-incarnate that throws us off our individualistic game, that throws our life pursuits into question in a good way.
4. Salvation is not based on having it all together (or faking that we do through a fragile, fabricated image), or by our performance (cool, clever, successful, rich, creative-artistic). See Mark 8:35-37; Matthew 16:25-27. These verses show that possessing oneself is an illusion according to Jesus. We discover our true self through giving ourselves and our highest affections to God in worship and to others in service and compassion. We are transformed by and into who or what we worship (James K. A. Smith, You Are Who You Love). To worship the true God is to encounter joy and discover a powerful connection with others. St. Augustine became a coherent self when he let go of trying to possess himself and lost himself in praise, lost himself in God.
5. God is our ultimate validator/saviour and judge. Life is all about exploring what he can do for us (heal us, straighten us, give us hope and a new future), and how he  can change our desires to what he wants from us in terms of a life of holiness. He wants us to take his truth to heart in obedience and generosity, practicing the virtues (II Peter 1:3-11). Thus, our identity is irreducibly dialogical (Galatians 2:20), folding otherness into its core. This is how Christ is formed in human beings. Christ ruptures the very concept of an absolute, self-determined subject.
6. Our focus should be on discerning and being faithful to our calling versus performance to impress others. This is wisdom that stabilizes us and takes us into the deeper life. What is our purpose under heaven? How do we put our gifts and giftedness to work in making a better world? How do we meet and be with people in their pain and suffering? There is endless creativity, curiosity and potential discovery within this posture. We subsist in Christ—our righteousness, identity, our meaning, is not intrinsic but extrinsic. We in turn become a grace-filled (agape) gift to others: family, friends, colleagues, neighbourhood, the poor and marginalized. The arc of the moral leads us to love that fulfils. 
7. Grace is superabundant all through our lives. God never, never gives up on us, so we don’t have to be perfect, unique or original (Psalm 91). He is our refuge: we can always run to him in times of stress. We can recover from our mistakes and poor judgments and evaluations. Identities are right now being transformed in Christ from one degree of glory to the next in real time (II Corinthians 3:18). Therefore each of us can cultivate a friendship with God which results in creative, eye-opening vision. God’s grace creates the continuity in our fragile selves: By his grace, “I am who I am” (I Corinthians 15:10) scribes the Apostle Paul.
8. We are known by God (Galatians 4:9; I Corinthians 8:3). He knows our name as a loving Father. This is a powerful realization. We are compelled by a spiritual intimacy-desire not consumption-desire. Our deepest longing (sehnsucht) is for him, fulfilled in his presence, in walking with him daily. This is where the warp of self is woven together with the woof of God—communion and comradeship. Then we move into the space of trust. Our highest love can find its fulfilment in our good and wise God, and we can leave our idols of self behind.
9. The Incarnation offers a potent antidote to idolatry of self. Christian discipleship, at the end of the day, is like late modern culture’s social imaginary turned upside down. Late modern culture puts a heavy burden on selves to become transparent and fully actualized in the present, the here and now. In the current vernacular, “Do or die; publish or perish; score big or go home.” It is the opposite of Christianity regarding our necessary quest for identity. See Colossians chapters 1-3 for a most beautiful discourse on the richness, the fullness, the at-home-nature of dwelling in Christ. So the ultimate goal of life for the Christian is dialogue and communion with God and community with fellow travellers. It is neither self-assertion nor self-abnegation; it is God-affirmation at its core. All things are under God, in God, promoting God’s glory.
10. In conclusion, God wants to transform us into a new transcultural spiritual culture, where we have multi-cultural flexibility to follow God’s way of holiness as our life journey towards Christ-likeness. The ethos is bold, humble, confident, generous, filled with gratitude and joy. Our security is grounded in Christ: Gospel practices are key to such a resilient identity as for example in practicing God’s presence (James Davison Hunter, To Change the World) and shalom (the art of being a blessing to others, fighting for the common good). The self is truly eschatological, writes Christopher Watkin: “It will burst out in its full blossom come the spring of the eschaton…. It remains in the mode of anticipation” (Colossians 3:2-4). Again, he notes the profundity of our identity status potential: ‘The prospect of my true identity being revealed in Christ on the last day means I am not faced with the choice of either realizing and actualizing all aspects of myself now or having them lie dormant forever. I as a Christian need not be crushed by the obligation of having fully to express, or even fully to understand myself here and now.” There is so much more surprise and delight that awaits the Christian, fulfilling her in ways of which she cannot even yet dream.

*This thought experiment was inspired in part by Tim Keller, Christopher Watkin and Charles Taylor. It also emerges from my PhD work. My wife and children, of course, have given me acute insights into this topic. I suggest that we need more teaching in our churches and on campus on our identity formation in Christ. Further reading in an old Scottish classic: Henry Scougal, The Life of God in the Soul of Man.